Hello there earthlings,my name is __JIn Chia__. and thank you for landing upon my blog.
do rememeber to leave a tag alrights. and it'll be appreciated.
Freedom!... boldunderlinestrike
Yesterday was kind of screwed up, but i think pulled it off, hopefully i actually did. I did it with 0percent confidence. Well its been so long already, what to expect from this. Commitment, a easy word to understand yet so diffucult to achieve it. I mean sincerly, what is commitment, is it a action or just words. From my perspective i feel that it is both. What is commitment without a vow, what is commitment without pinky promises. Sometimes something should not be kept inside the heart. It is just not right. As it accumulate up to a certain point thing will happen, i rather everything happen now than happen in the future. Make it clear now to prevent regrets in the future. Things should not be taken too lightly, promises should not be made too easily. This is the real world, what do you expect? There ain't fairytale. You got to work hard to survive in such harsh society, no one will pity you for your setback. Well enough about that. Power forces of attraction really makes me tremble. Really hope i am prepared for O'level!
Tuesday, October 9, 2012 // 4:04 PM
Watched finish painted skin 1 yesterday, not a bad movie. Should be watching painted skin 2 today. Was suspended by school today, 3 hours outside staff room, it wasn't that bad afterall. I kind of enjoy spending my time doing self revision there. OM Chan drop by to give me a visit when i fell asleep. Was kind of shock right at start, gradually i notice the bloody camera on top, then i realised how is he able to capture me so efficiently. Got the JAE book yesterday, browse through all the courses available in poly. A lot of course caught my sight, i picked up a few that i prefer. Well honestly the points does not matter, what matters most is that i do my best and get over and done with it. There is not much happening today actually so i really do not know what to write. My lesson just seems to flash through today. Well i am starting to not like Man Fu a lot. That fucker always come sit beside me. He is really very annoying. I tried to ignore him but he still comes. Other than that, he takes my things without my permission and he even drank my water, i was like 'you can have the whole bottle' seriously that disgusting boy, i am not going to risk myself by drinking the water he drank before. Even if he does not annoy me, i still do not want him to sit beside me, personal reason. Well if he resume coming to sit beside me, i am going to shush him away. It is the last week of school man, let me spend more time with my other classmates; better classmates.
Monday, October 8, 2012 // 4:47 PM
Have not been posting the past few days reasons, its the weekends what do you expect, and i was kind of lazy too. Well life have been a little too stressful, 10 more days to O'level. I really need to calm down and think through everything carefully again. The same old thing is still stuck deep in my mind. I just do not know how to express it. It either gonna change everything for the better or ruin everything. Tough choice, so i rather just stay nochalant. Anyway other than that issue, i handed in my risky essay today. Wonder how much mark would i get... It took quite a lot of effort to write 5 pages of essay, i mean i seldom write so much, i try to exceed the minimun words limit slightly and get over and done with it. Other than that, the target setting for L1r4 by mr andy lim today was astounding. I was playful enough to set a target of below 10 points, just overestimating myself. Maybe not just that, just hoping that if i aim higher i will land around that area. Maybe i would maybe i would not. Well it is up to the invilgilator to decide, i put in the amount of effort i need to put in that will be sufficient. Well today is just tiring. Late for school again. Seriously i do not have the heart to go to school anymore. Its really time consuming and just annoying, late still need go for the stupid detention. Its already reaching O's, this kind of rule should be revoke for goodness sake. well i had complained enough shall end of here.
时间是宝贵的，不因该浪费在无谓的东西。
Thursday, October 4, 2012 // 6:58 PM
Yesterday was a total tragedy, i caught the 180 but i missed the 198 and 197. The fucking road reconstruction delayed my bus and ruined everything, had to take a cab home in the end. The entire tragedy brought great disatisfaction today to me. Felt really guilty about something i have done, but what is done cannot be undone, in adddition what i did was for the greater good. Just hope that things like this can be forgetten soon. Problem with me is that i remorse for a long period of time. Is there anyway i can make it up i would do so. It has been quite long that i am doing this, it seems that everything have gotten back on track again, honestly i hope i actually truly got back on track. I am not really sure whether what is going on is true or not, despite everything seems so real and feel so real. I just cannot help myself but be paranoid about. It is common for people to put up guard against something. I am not sure if i am putting up guard or just letting things be the way it is. These issues is occupying too much of my mine, it is time that i put a hold to all this unesscessary information and move on with life. I was really stuck in a helpless situation. What am i suppose to do? Fly Back? Defintely impossible. Enough about the tragedy. Things did not go well in school today too. Early in the morning i was alone in the back of the class in the three column table with two table unoccupied, Isaac came, Man fu came, however their presence did not make a little impact to me at all. Whatever it is, things only began to look up after recess, when is about 12already`. I seriously do not understand why would my principal choose recess over lunch hour, which is like normally workaholic schedule. Anyway the recess part was not important. Had english after recess and it was kind of normal. Then came maths when the worksheet was given out, finally something that occupied my mind. After that was some english pratice session, that i should confess was the most happy part of the day. Good moments do not last, after that came chemistry and the end of school. Despite all the happening i still cannot get over the tragedy that took place, i want to and do not want codemn anyone for the incident. All i could do is to bear full responsibilty, and hope that i will be bless and make it through O'levels alive.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012 // 4:10 PM
No post for yesterday as i didn't have the time. Maybe i did, but i am just lazy. It does not matter at all. Times flies, over is drawing closer, like almost about one week left. somehow i am feeling a bit complacement now. That should not be the way, i got to do something about it. Some amendment have to be make, otherwise i would not do well for O's. Got to keep myself out of distraction. Now that my life is back i seem to be a bit less hardworking than before. Just could not find another better term than hardworking although hardworking is not the term that could probably be use to describe me. Hard working do not exist in my dictionary. However, it is important that i clear my doubts and finish my ten years series now. Last year maths paper was easy, i have a feeling this year will be the exact opposite. More distraction coming up. Just hoping can more tolerant towards such stuff. Today in school was quite boring, maybe very boring, i cannot really make up my mind. I still have a while before i start to get distracted again, it is better that i start studying now before its all too late.
Tuesday, October 2, 2012 // 12:16 AM
为爱而失去理智，为爱而疯狂。
// 12:15 AM
I guess i have been suffering from this condition known as the paranoia.
// 12:14 AM
Do i look like care? I mean something is not right. There is a conspiracy behind all this. I do really want know what is truly. This mystery is going to bug me for quite some time. i hope it won't affect my O's, i really do not want my O's to be affected by this kind of small things, well it may turn major at some point of time. I felt something amiss when the question was pop up, but nevertheless, i try to trust, hoping it is not a mistake, thus i am still trying hard. As the thought occur to me, this is getting more suspicious than usual, i do not want this to turn out like the one week happiness, one week can ruined the entire relationship. Its not a big thing if you leave me, but i will miss you much. Well i definitely hope nothing changes at this point of time and in the future.
// 12:13 AM
Today... Just another ordinary day in school, nothing much to expect from, got back prelim result slip, was a little disappointed . my partner is still clinging onto her top position, with outstanding results of 5A. Totally incredible. 4A1 and 1A2, i will need to study just another year to accomplish such achievement. Enough about the result, if you twist the word, it is just another re slut... I apologise for being a little vulgar here. Apparently O's is drawing closer, with roughly 14days left i guess maybe more. What the fuck am i suppose to do now ? with this kind of result i am far behind my desire. Talking about desire, recently i have plenty of wants. Maybe too much? Am i asking for too much? Back to the old topic again, i have been whining about it for about 3 days already. Refusing to admit that it was my fault. Nothing wrong with being calculative. I'll stop here. Got sick and tired of complaining. Change subject. Free period was fucked up. Apparently i was watching they kiss again, then the bunch of ignorant and annoying teachers came one by one and say i doubt you will make it. I was like whatever you say, all i know is i believe in myself, I know i can make it through. Currently i am still quite worried for my english, i am very dependent on my oral and compo. I hope i get the hang of my situational writing soon. Working hard with my partner, to correct each other mistake and make amendment hoping to hit an A for situational and compo. There is a huge need for me to raise up to my ability otherwise, it will be pointless even if i pass everything else. Regarding what the teacher said, i totally oppose to it. Prelim is tougher than O's. If you do well for prelim, you do even better in O's. I was like fuck you, i did equally bad for my prelim and O's last year. If their theory was relavant, then i would most probably be the top scholar already. whatever it is, relevant or irrelevant its not their problem.
Mid autumn festival, the wonderful day is coming to an end soon. Not trying to be sacarstic, despite me not having a great day today, it felt good seeing the families coming down to the void deck and corridors to enjoy this festive season together . i ate my mooncake, spent time with my family, played candles with my friends. Nothing seems to lack on the outside, but deeop inside me, a more important thing is lacking. There is this one person that i regard as part of my life, had missed out this year festival with me. Well it would really be great if i can celebrate this festival together with this special person of mine. I wanted to ask, but plans have already been made and unknown this have been going on, things beyond my control, its too late to say all this now, but honestly i am utterly disappointed.
Not just today but throughout the week. Previously i was ranting off at twitter but didn't seem to get any thing across, so i told myself, forget about it . I am not interested about it anymore. I got bigger and more significant things to achieve, which is to pass my O'levels. With that bloody certificate, damn i will prosper. Hopefully i will. To achieve big things in life, sacrifices need to be made. I am not sorry cause i know i can make it up in the future. Despite all this thoughts about getting the achievement. I am still very upset about what is going on right now. I lack the family support at this point of time. Well, i'll just see how things turn out later. Lets hope this come to a conclusion soon. Many people fight and get over it, somehow like fight and breakup, kiss and make up, this cold and hot method is not how i handle thing. However things can get worst. Something like what happened in the story of you're the apple of my eye. Total tragedy took place, they fight and they never make up till the point she got married, that is the worst that can happen and i do not want that to take place.
// 12:26 AM
What have i done today? Nothing much? Just studied. Unwilling i went there in the end. Was actually quite happy studying my maths. well just wanna do well for it. I actually discovered what i really want in the process, and it felt fascinating. The features was rare and exceptionally attractive, i was totally induced to it. However, i know where i stand, its just some part of the crappy thought of mine. Well i tried performing some magic, which seems to work out quite well. Really satisfied about it. Then thats where i drew a line, I know this entire paragraph does not make any sense at all, but to me it meant a lot. Just so i got back my confidence recently, i just want to make a few more mistakes and enjoy myself for a while before everything stabilies.
